Never Forgotten
by Green Monkie
Summary: After Hermione loses Harry, she puts to paper all of her thoughts H/H (one shot)


_A woman walked into a bare room, with only a desk. She walked over to window, which was open blowing in the frosty cold winds of winter; she closed them slowly and pulled the curtains across. She was about to walk out when she was the desk drawer was open. She slowly walked over and pulled the drawer open so she could see its contents. _

_Inside there was only one quill, an inkwell and a scroll of Parchment. She pulled the items out of the drawer, and then she sat down with the quill in her hand. She held it paused over the parchment as though she was deliberating whether to actually write. She dunked the tip of the quill in the inkwell and slowly started to write._

I have to write this down, I have to remember just after he died, do people know what a difficult time that was for me? All the memories of him floated back to me, like a tidal wave of emotions. No matter what I did they always stayed. People had suggested I get a Memory charm cast on myself, to help me forget and move on, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I missed him, but that didn't mean that I wanted to forget him completely.

If I forgot him, I would be forgetting the best, happiest and most treasured moments of my life. And if I forgot them, then my life wouldn't be worth living anymore. It was hard enough living without him in person, put living without the memory of him…. would be unbearable.

I understand why he had died; he had saved so many people when he did. Everyone would remember him for that. His name will go down in history, who sacrificed himself for the well being of the rest of the wizarding world. Before he was remembered as Harry Potter, The Boy that Lived, now he was remembered as the Boy that Died. 

She paused and took a deep breath. It calmed down her nerves; this was extremely difficult for her to write. She blinked back tears and continued to write down all that came into her head.

I didn't hate him because he had died… no on the contrary…I just loved him more for it. He had saved so many lives. Still I wish that he could have killed Voldemort _without _killing himself in the process. The thing I did hate was the fact that people celebrated the death of Voldemort, but did not mourn the death of Harry. The headline on the front page of the 'Daily Prophet' the next day was "Magical world celebrates death of Voldemort." It said that Harry Potter sacrificed himself for the good of the magical community, but that was the only thing that it had written in it at all about him. I was invited to so many different celebration parties but I turned down all of them. No one seemed to remember that the man who had sacrificed himself for the magical community was my husband. Sure there were a few of my close friends remembered and who offered their condolences, but they really did nothing. Their commiserations didn't comfort me that much. A few of them were genuinely sorry. Like the Weasley's and Neville.

But still, condolences couldn't bring him back.

I remember someone saying to me, "He always thought of others first" and what he did was for the best, the best for all of us. But I'm not too sure… Was it the best thing for me? Losing the person I loved most in the world surely can't be the best thing for me, can it? He was the person I was closest to, the person who knew all of my deepest darkest secrets. How can loosing someone who you were that close to you be good for you, and when he sacrificed himself was he thinking of my well being? He of all people knew that if he died it would definitely be good for me. 

One of the worst things is that I didn't get to tell him that he was going to be a father. Yep I'm 8 and a half months pregnant, and he never even knew. It was that morning when I went to the doctor to confirm it. And when I got home, all those people were standing in our apartment. Seamus was the first one I recognised… He was the one who told me. I don't remember much after that…except crying. I know that I pretty much collapsed on the spot as soon as he told me but I really don't remember anything after that.

A week later, there was the funeral… I went, and I cried… I went to the Wake… and I cried… It seemed that everything anyone did, would remind me of Harry, and it'd make me cry. 

Ginny moved into my house about a month after his death. At the moment, I think she's in her room sleeping. It was really good to have someone to come home to and spill my guts out to. Especially just after the funeral. So many nights I fell asleep crying in her bed, on the couch with her arms around my shoulders in a protective hug. She always seemed to understand and never once did she complain. I owe her so much. She was my support. She is my rock. Her brothers were good too. I think they see me as some other unofficial adopted sister. 

Ron has been extremely helpful and supportive. He has always been there as another shoulder to cry on, His wife too. Lavender has been so nice to me over these last few months and so understanding. As soon as she found out about Harry, apparently she said to Ron, "Go and be with your friend, I understand" and practically pushed him out the door. He's already the godfather to the baby, and taking into account the events of the past few months I think I'll give the Godmother position to both Lavender and Ginny. 

Emily (my psychiatrist) did great things for me. She helped me realise that no matter what Harry would still be with me, and that I would be able to cope without him. She also told me I had to remember _and _forget him at the same time, which shocked me a little. When I asked why she said, "If you keep thinking about him every single minute of every single day you'll never be able to move on, but if you forget him, you'll forget the father of your child, which could affect that child's. Children will be curious and even though it's a long time away, you will need to be prepared for when they do ask about him."

She made me think about, not just my future, but my baby's future as well, so now I see it as my little bit of Harry. My little bit of Harry that will forever remind me of the love we shared. Even If I do get married, I will always have my little James/ Emma.

_The writer smiled as she wrote that paragraph. She finished off and she read over what she had just written. She looked slightly shocked and picked up the quill again. After dunking the tip again she continued to write._

I just read over what I've written and I just noticed that at the start of the letter, I was extremely reluctant to write anything down, then I started to get into it, and I started to feel better, and calmer. 

Emily was right. She said that writing what I was thinking would be good for me, I didn't believe her. But now I understand why she told me to do this.

I feel that this letter is the start of the end of my grieving. If that makes any sense. I'm starting to feel a little bit calmer. As though I've let go of something. It also made me realise how lucky I am. To have such devoted and loyal friends, who will stick by me through everything. 

So even though I lost my husband, my lover, the father of my baby and my best friend, I've gained the knowledge of the fact that I will always have friends. And I think that is what is most important. I know that Harry wouldn't want me to mourn, and I know that getting by without him will be difficult, but I will have friends to help me get through anything.

The writer finished off her letter, and rolled up the scroll. There was a definite smile on her face. She opened the drawer and placed the scroll back in.

_Her stomach rumbled slightly. She smiled; she could hear that Ice cream with capers and peanut butter calling her from the kitchen. She slowly walked out the door and into the kitchen. She opened the freezer door and pulled out the Ice cream (Neapolitan) and placed it on the counter. She was about to open the fridge when a sharp pain hit her lower abdomen. She knew what she had to do. _

_Instead of getting the capers and ignoring the pain. She slowly walked up the hall and softly knocked on Ginny's door. Soft mumbling came from behind the door, so she opened it. Ginny was slowly sitting up in her bed, rubbing her eyes._

_"What is it Hermione?" She looked at the clock, "It's 2:30 in the morning"_

_"The baby is coming… now"_

_***_

Well that's it... Please review people and tell me what you think about it. :)

~GELD~


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